Not sure if i understand you correctly... Are you saying that the graceful shutdown would part of a normal service lifecycle. With service i mean org.jboss.msc.Service, where the lifecycle is also managed by MSC? Where e.g. stop(StopContext) would register the GracefulShutdownTerminator used by AS to signal the service promptly shutdown?
If that's the case i'm not sure if that will work, since usually deployments depend on the connector - which means that when stopping the server, deployments would get undeployed before the connector.stop() is invoked. Where actually the connector should be started after deployment is completed and stopped (in a graceful manner or not) before undeployment begins.