Regarding starting and stopping AS7 via JBoss Developer 4.1 you can as mentioned above go via external tools. BUT
instead of executing standalone.bat (I know Windows is borring :) ) I wrote me a one line batch which executes that standalone.bat.
start cmd.exe /C "C:/jboss-as-7.0.2.Final/bin/standalone.bat"
Now, you at least got the possibility to stay in your IDE.
/Sven Malvik