And if you are using Windows and running Vista or a later version, you can find the command line in Task Manager on the Processes/Details tab (though you have to add the Command Line column). But that column has a limited lneght so not all of the ocmmand line will show; in that case get Process Explorer from systinternals, it will show you the complete command line.
Also, another way to check the settings is to run JVisualVM and connect to the java process. JVisualVM will show you all of the settings.