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I am struggling with almost the same thing. I have BRMS server on testing. I modified the web.xml in the jbpm-human-task.war/WEB-INF with this values:
<init-param>
<param-name>mina.host</param-name>
<param-value>192.168.0.95</param-value>
</init-param>
<init-param>
<param-name>mina.port</param-name>
<param-value>9123</param-value>
</init-param>
and this code:
CommandBasedHornetQWSHumanTaskHandler hornetTaskHandler = new CommandBasedHornetQWSHumanTaskHandler(this.ksession);
hornetTaskHandler.setConnection("192.168.0.95", 9123);
hornetTaskHandler.connect();