Hi Gary, sorry to hear about that.
Tools are being improved over the time and a huge effort for integrate them nicely is being done.
In my opinion Drools and jBPM can be used perfectly for a project initiative, the only problem as you mention are the tools. If you want to use the engine and embedded in your application or host it in a server the APIs are working perfectly right now.
Please let me know if I can clarify you something else to help you to create your solution.
Greetings.