[aerogear-dev] Post for jboss blog

[Matthias Wessendorf]

On Tue, Feb 3, 2015 at 5:44 AM, Joshua Wilson <jowilson at redhat.com> wrote:

> It looks great! Here are my comments.
>
> - The following sentence needs to be rewritten. "Currently users count
> with extensive documentation to set up Unified Push Console." My guess is
> that the "with" should be "on".
> - The last word needs an "s". "This might sound exaggerated adulation,
> truth is I really do enjoy working with developer." Change "developer" to
> "developers".
> - Since you use "UPS" later on you need to add it the end of this
> sentence. "I've been given the challenge to redesign Aerogear Unified Push
> Console." Add on "(UPS)".
> - Is this correct? "Install a client code" In English the use of "a"
> indicates that it is a specific thing instead of programming code. It reads
> like I need to enter "352245".
> - Personally I feel that this sentence is demeaning to the user and the
> innuendo on the end is inappropriate for jboss.org "Yeah, we have high
> expectations from our users. It isn't an easy job, and we need to hold
> their hands and head them to a happy ending." But that just may be prudish
> nature.
> - Who do you intend to read this? If it is your intended user (of if you
> think your intended user may ever read it) the overall tone is demeaning to
> users. You are running the risk of pushing (no pun intended) users away.
> You start out calling them children, then say they are too dumb to follow
> your step to create it, then you say they do not enough attention and focus
> to use the tool. It is one thing for you to think that way, it is another
> to tell them to their face. To be clear, I am not on the Aerogear team. I'm
> just providing the perspective of a potential user. I also believe that you
> do not intend to offend, that is why I am offering this insight.
>

Not a native speaker (unlike Joshua), but I also had the same feelings when
reading the entry. It feels a little bit speaking from high up down to the
users.

Overall, I like having an entry about the work being done to redesign the
Push Console, and I like the blog post idea, but first reading, I found it
a bit harsh.

-Matthias



> - Consider rewording "We only count with a fraction of a seconds to make a
> good first impression and just a couple of seconds to grab their
> attention." to "We only have a fraction of a second to make a good first
> impression and just a couple of seconds to grab their attention."
> - Consider rewording "For UPS console" to "For the UPS console"
> - Please change "an" to "and" in "complete the 5 steps to get push
> notifications up an running. "
> - I am not sure but think you need a dash between "on bording" in "A
> successful on boarding strategy is like".
> - Consider rewording "As parents we need to encourage to teach themselves
> and learn their own way." to include a "them" here "to encourage them to
> teach".
> - Consider changing "Alan Coopers teach us that main goal of a UX design
> is to never make the user feel stupid." to "Alan Cooper teaches us that the
> main goal of a UX design is to never make the user feel stupid" (as a side
> note, he makes my point for me :P )
>
> I mean not offense by my edits or comments. I think it great that you
> wrote this up. Keep writing (and coding/designing).
>
> Joshua Wilson
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Andres Galante [via aerogear-dev]" <
> ml-node+s1069024n10770h85 at n5.nabble.com>
> To: "joshuaw" <jowilson at redhat.com>
> Sent: Monday, February 2, 2015 10:24:37 PM
> Subject: [aerogear-dev] Post for jboss blog
>
>
>
> I wrote this for joboss blog:
>
> https://gist.github.com/andresgalante/32485438e2c64f2127ba
>
> I wanted to share before I send it in case someone has a few minutes to
> read it and send feedback.
>
> Thanks!
>
> Andrés
>
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-- 
Matthias Wessendorf

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